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‘And I always thought, I am damn safe in my own cocoon’

She switched off the lights after taking her daily midnight bath.

She had always loved it -water, bubbles and self, completely immersed in the bath tub, thinking nothingness for an hour.

Like always, she had taken the same short cut back home from office, she had cooked the same boring oat meal for dinner and she had slipped into her old boring grey night wear to say goodnight to the world. Like always, she had thought.

She turned her back towards the only window in her room.

The window had been nice to her ever since she has shifted in the office. She would drink her morning coffee, looking down at the weird dog owners who would run behind their dogs from her window. She would sometimes, paint beside the window, looking closely at the passerby. She had also sobbed looking at the window, in the hope that someone somewhere was watching her cry. Like always, window has been her only companion in the room.

She did not want to be disturbed. She did not want to see the flashing lights of the vehicle passing under her window. She did not want to hear the roaring sounds of the trucks laden with fruits, vegetables or anything. She wanted sleep. She wanted peace. She wanted solitude.

‘She had always been a loner’; her mother had always told her friends, neighbors and relatives in despair. Though, she would always chuckle at her mother’s remarks. She knew, she was not a loner. She had friends. She had people to talk to. She had companions to hang out with. But her preference was to talk to self, her entertainment was hanging out alone and her friend was her only soul.

She looked at the clock again. 2.30 am. Still hours to go to wake up, she thought closing her eyes tightly. ‘Sleep, sleep, sleep please’, she authoritatively told herself.

She had shifted to a flat away from home for her job. She would visit her mother once in two months. Other than that, her weekends were mainly wasted in creating few more paintings, reading about psychology and cooking ‘good food’. She would also take out one Saturday for Feni, her flatmate and hang out buddy in the unknown city. They both would sneak into their converse, wear loose T-shirts and would walk through the lanes in Pyjamas. Amidst the solitude, Feni was her only interaction with the outer world.

She stared at the clock. 2.45 am. It seemed, the clock has been stuck. She switched on the lights to have a closer look. 2.46 am. May be, the clock moved faster in her supervision, she thought.

She switched on the TV to watch news.

It had been 5 months that she had stopped going out with Feni too. She would stay in her room whole day, only coming out to cook. Sometimes, she would even skip cooking and stay hungry whole day. She had also started avoiding Feni’s room. She would behave as if the room never existed.

The news seemed sad. It talked how the stars play a role in screwing every body’s life, or how a saint can molest a girl or how the country is moving and growing. Nothing interested her. Her eyes wanted to sleep. But her heart would not let her; after all, it was again a Saturday. A Saturday meant to be spent with Feni, her dear buddy.

It had been a usual Saturday with Feni. Though, she had decided to leave early alone. She had planned to pick some gifts for Feni. She had gone to a florist to buy some yellow and pink flowers of her choice, she had ordered a customized cake showing two girls on a bike for her and she had even brought a nice floral dress for her. After all, Feni was getting married!

They both have decided to meet at the Bakers, their favorite shop to try varieties of cakes and chocolates.

She had waited for Feni forever that day, but Feni had not come. Annoyed, she had thrown the gift in the bin while returning home. She had tip-toed straight to her room, sure of not asking for any explanations. She had cried whole night thinking about the possible reason of not showing up, and had later slept off.

She reluctantly decided to knock at the Feni’s door. She opened her door and stared for a minute towards her room. Lights were still on. She dragged her feet slowly towards the room. After gathering all her courage, she forced opened her room.

She had not cared to ask for Feni the whole week.  She had re-assumed her work following week and had ignored her room. She had often wondered about the absence of calls from Feni, it was so unlike her. Though, her anger would stop her anxious self.

After 10 days of ‘pretentious ignoring Feni’, she had decided to talk to Feni face to face. She had come home early that night and had gone towards her room straight away.  After an hour of continuous knocking and struggling to get through her room door, she had called the boys she knew. The male gang had broken the door that night to witness the horrific incident. 

Feni’s dead fiancé slept naked on the blood stained bed. The room smelled blood and flesh. It seemed, someone had dragged him in the room by his soft beautiful hair, which Feni had always loved. The mirror in the room stood unbroken with some patches of dried blood.

Shocked, she had vigorously searched for Feni. Walking through the messed room and broken flower pots, she had cried within herself.

‘Feni, oh dear Feni’, she had thought.

She stood staring at the bed. She could still visualize the dead fiancé. She could still smell the blood and the flesh in the room. She could still see Feni chattering nonchalantly over phone. And she could still see Feni fading away from the room and her life.

‘5 months or 5 years, you are always missed oh my dear…’

 

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After all the hullabaloo over the ‘rape cases’ and what a ‘not so bad’ girls should do, it is time to tell all the men out here to learn few things (rather basic) to make this society a better place to live for humans.

Delhi-gang-rape

  • Girls – Even though you have seen movies and your friends talking about them as a piece of pleasure, the truth is they are ‘NOT’. Yes, they have cleavage like you have balls. Yes, they show their thighs like you show your muscles. Simple, isn’t it?

 

  • They swing their butt, yes, little too much sometimes. But ‘IT IS NOT AN INVITATION’. If they really want to do it, they will speak up. If you still think they are inviting, please clear your confusion before getting into their pants. Re-learn ‘PERMISSION’.

 

  • They are like flowers. Well, off course. They bloom to glory and they spread beauty around. But aren’t you told by your teachers ‘NOT TO PLUCK FLOWERS’?

 

  • You see a ‘girl’, and get excited (thanks to the noodles that you have eaten last night, may be). Then you plan to rape her. Oh sorry, you plan a mistake to rape her. Cool, isn’t it? Well, ‘rape is not a mistake, it is a crime’. And Crime is not justifiable. NEVER.

 

  • Men are stronger (in strength). Yes, many of you are. Use this strength to fight for the nation and the society. Forcing on a ‘softer gender’ (like what you call girls most of the times), is not being strong. It is a symbol of being coward.

 

  • Many of you are not the rapists, agreed. But when you abuse your girlfriends, or sometimes disrespect your wife, trust, you also rape their emotions. You are no less than the ‘one who just had fun’ with the girl on a moving bus. The only difference is ‘scars are not visible in your case’

 

  • A girl should not step out ‘after 7pm’. May be you are sane to tell her that. But if a girl is out after the set time, it does not mean ‘SHE IS OKAY TO BE PLAYED AROUND’. Possibly, she was working hard to support herself like you do every day. Possibly, she enjoys being with friends and hangout under the moon shine like you do. ‘HER GENDER DOES NOT DEFINE HER LIFE RULES’.

 

  • Please stop moral policing. Focus on ‘how you can become right’ rather than focusing on’ how can you teach lessons to people you see around’.

 

  • A RAPED GIRL IS NOT A VICTIM. She is a fighter and a survivor. Rather than feeling ‘sorry’ for her, and ‘discussing about what happened with the poor soul’, STAND AGAINST THE ONE WHO MADE YOUR GENDER ‘ASHAMED’.

 

  • Don’t wait until it happens with your near ones. The pain would be unbearable.

 If you can’t control your horses, better get rid of them. It will be a social service to all of us, we control population, rapes and ‘dirt birth’, all at the same time.

 

 

The day which is scheduled for 14th February every year, attracts many wanted and unwanted attention. While many of us get excited of knowing that it is coming, rest of the world feel depressed for the same reasons.

The excited ones- go out to buy the prettiest red dress, the sexiest red tie, hit Google for gifting options and do reservations, though the rest of the world, succumb themselves only to blame work for no outings.

Either ways, the day is worth the wait and fun to experience.

However, over the years, the day had been revamping itself. While it all started with expressing love and gifting roses and chocolates to the one you love, our gen-next has taken a step ahead to define the day.

The new generation is techie, impatient and often lazy – searching for something which saves time and energy. They are not too emotionally attached, and don’t mind shifting to next prospects. They take love with rather a pinch of salt. For them, the day is another excuse to ask for dates.

While the ‘no strings attached relationships’ mantra is becoming the ‘big thing’, there are many who still sail on the love seas. For them, the love day is everything they live for.

So to help both- the fast forward generation as well as the love birds to buy some nice gifts for the day, we have few smart options for the different type of lovers on the block à

  • If your love of the life is ‘tech-maniac’ – these people are majorly honours in technology. They breathe, live and eat only to know which gadget would be launched next. Their life revolves around singing goodnight jingles over phone for you and telling you about the hottest tech-pad they aspire. Well, these are the expensive of the lots. While their choice of gifts would range anything from I-pad to smart watches to X-boxes, we suggest you to look for customization within the limited choice you have in your budget. You can gift covers for their gadgets engraved with their names along with yours or you could get the back of the gadget printed with the picture of you together.
  • When you know your love is a ‘day-dreamer’ – if your lover is a day dreamer, trust you have hit a jackpot. They are sweet people, who would prefer to date you in their thoughts rather than forcing you to buy an expensive gift for the day. Their idea of love is to have you by their side and discuss their unlimited future plans. A smallest of a teddy bear over the candle light dinner makes them elated. For the male day-dreamers, we suggest a day well spent in your nicest of the dress to make you look cute and happy.
  • If the better half is too smart and creative – a tough one to handle, you rather need to plan ahead for the day to make them special. They know you in and out, plus the creativity zeal in them often depresses you about the gifts you should give. Take a deep breath and stop competing in their creativity. It will be hard to beat them. The simplest ideas could range from looking for something they had never done to may be an adventure sport option or planning a treasure hunt for the things they love.
  • Only if it’s your first valentine with her/him – a word of caution- don’t do Bolly-wood in front of them! They don’t want you to be romantic and go crazy booking tables at the most expensive restaurants, all they want is you right now. So discuss and plan the day together- girls would rather enjoy getting dressed in your favourite clothes while guys might love you for managing whole day for them.
  • Suggested for ‘love at first sight’ – these are like emergency situations, cupid has just thought to strike your chords. Don’t plan anything. Safest option is to stick to traditional flowers and chocolates in a heart shaped box!
  • If your love is already celebrating its silver jubilee– when you know that you both are born, lived and also ageing together. They rule your heart, mind and soul now, and you don’t remember the last time you dated someone else. Your love is complaining about the tasteless food and fighting over petty issues. The most romantic gift you can give them is the glimpse of memory lane. It could be as simple as gifting them an album of memories with short notes to as complicated as making a movie on your love life together.
  • Hooked and booked conditions – if you are still enjoying your courtship period with your love or are newly-wed couple, planning a mini-picnic or trip is not a bad idea. You could also gift diamonds and accessories to add oomph to the new love.
  • If you are single and ready to mingle – If the cupid has not aimed his arrow at you yet, but you are dying to get attacked soon – this is one for you. Buy something for yourself; you would have otherwise loved your partner to gift you. Use it the same day and spend the time of singlehood with yourself. Drink coffee and eat pastry, go on for a bike ride and wear the prettiest colour you like. Do things for yourself, this could be the last year to love and pamper yourself like you do at present. And you never know, the chirpy you on V-day is the only way to find your love

All we want to suggest you is that, no matter what you gift and what you do, just enjoy the ride to the unknown destination!

 

imagesWhat can be a worst nightmare for a girl than seeing your little red baby growing on your face, every morning? Day 1 and you have 2 tiny dots, day 2, hurrah! – they plan to multiply and by the day 5th, they are all over your face. Yes, PIMPLES!

Shining, round and in red color, they sit there on your face, making you realize your clear skin does not belongs to you anymore.

I was 17, when one fine morning, I saw it on my forehead, near between my eyebrows. It looked funny and like misplaced BINDI. Okay, it was not that scary. I knew how to tackle it, having seen my friends using n number of creams and homemade remedies. As confident as I am, I opted to use crushed black cumin with water and applied it over night. It pained like hell, it seemed the paste is pricking it from inside. I could not sleep whole night. Next morning, the pimple on the forehead had called off its companions to fight against my homemade cumin paste. My forehead looked horrible.

I remember, it was my farewell day in college. We friends had planned so much about the day, starting from which sarees we all would wear to the pettiest things like colour of our Bindis and wallets. with all the excitement around, internally, I was not happy. No matter, how beautiful saree I would have picked or the expensive makeup I had gone for, my forehead and my cheeks with those little tiny creatures (read pimples) still would have looked horrendous. An hour before, I decided to back-out. Just to avoid those pictures of my pimples for the lifetime.

The journey with Pimples was still not over, over the period of time, it started giving shelter to Acnes too. I didn’t know what was I doing wrong. Using Cumin paste, all soaps and face washes claiming over night recoveries, drinking appropriate water in a day(because my relative said, I don’t drink much water), praying to god and even, not eating anything spicy for years. I had done it all.

I had switched from home-made recipes to allopathic to homeopathic and to sympathy. Nothing was really effective. Sometimes, I used to scratch my face with my nails, out of irritation. Sometimes, I used to avoid meeting people, out of frustration. I had become an empty bag, where anyone you meet, could dump their advice- like ‘you should avoid ‘teekha’, you should bath with Neem water, you should do this and you should do that’. Like, are you serious? Do you think I am not doing anything for it? But what could I say, results were nowhere seen.

Finally, I decided to continue with the things I felt was right without fearing results. I used ‘besan packs’ every day, took ‘Neem Bath’ every alternate day and went to see ‘doctor’ fortnightly. That one year of transformation was not easy, I underwent stress and anxiety. I had disconnected myself from the outer world and I had confined myself to my cocoon. It was not easy at all.

After 7-8 years, I still feel the same fear. Fear of being called PIMPLU (one with pimples on her face). Fear of being clicked ugly. Fear of being invaded by acnes and other problems. Fear of losing my happiness and beauty over night. I fear it all.

This is my fear story of life – which I want to convert into a fight story against PIMPLES.

Currently, I have an almost clear skin with some light patches of pimple marks from the past. I still try and look for a complete solution, which is convenient and cheap, which is not stressful and gives us hope.

 

This entry is a part of Indi-blogger contest bit.ly/GPABlogLinkIndiBloggerActivity for Garnier PureActive. Do check out their website at bit.ly/GarnierPureActiveNeemWebsite

Keep calm ny resolution

 New Year’s is one of the most celebrated days for most of us in the year – giving us hopes and helping us get away from all the not-so-good things we did last year. It is like a re-incarnation for some, a video game for others where they have cleared another stage successfully.

We make plans, do night outs and go bunzy-jumping when the clock stuck 12 midnight. Yohoo, a new year. Every year, we do everything differently.

But what most remain consistent with most of us is –OUR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

And after 365 days of trying to attain those goals (or rather pretend attending), we just scratch them off to jot down fresh goals… PHEWW…

 

Today being the second last day of this eventful year – 2014, I thought to pen down some cautions before you pledge again for the new year’s resolution and fail drastically yet again (like me) –

  • Don’t punish yourself – It starts with, ‘I will lose 20 pounds this year’ to ‘I will not date Samaira anymore’ – a list full of restrictions and DONT’S. Dude, this new years is not meant to murder you with its sharp knife, come on, this year means another chance to live your life. Utilize it, don’t kill it. Instead of “I will not…”… Write “I will…” like I will go sky diving this year, I will at least do 5 solitude travelling, I will learn guitar, I will date 5 different girls from different countries and things like that!

           I can already feel the motivation 🙂

  • Be innovative – your wish list should at least have one crazy thing to look back upon. What is the fun of doing only the obvious.

           Think Think Think- as crazy as you can 😉

  • Be real, you are not a superman  -even super heroes work one case at a time; don’t run into multiple things at the same time for the year. Be realistic of what you are writing, if you are serious about fulfilling your resolution this year. So may be, writing down that you will go to Mount Everest when you don’t have a basic training is saying too much, may be you can replace it with trekking with friends. Trust, it will be more fun and achievable.

          But don’t listen to me if you can really touch the highest peak 🙂

  • Have an action plan ready à it is not one day that you will decide, “O; I had to go para-gliding this year, let’s do it”. Complete No. Plan when will you do what. Distribute your ‘wish list’ among the 12 months of the year, so that none of them feel cheated and you are not burdened.

           I am freaking out in May I know, and may be relax and go leisure trip in October holidays

  • Keep ticking as you do – yes, you lazy ass…Write your resolutions first and then tick them off once you fulfil any one of them. So by the time you approach half the year, you don’t get lost and lose the track. This is necessary to keep you going throughout the year

           As motivated and encouraged in August as in January!

  • Keep calm, it is just another fun-wish list – At the end of the year, don’t scold yourself for not fulfilling few ideas you thought you would do. It is completely okay. Remember, at least your track record is not bad like the previous years. At least you tried doing stuffs you wanted.

          So enjoy what you did this year and will be doing next year!

 

Think enough of blah-blah before you immerse yourself in the new year blast and lose your senses 😉

Happy new year’s Folks, wish you a prosperous year ahead

With Love, MISHTEEY 

 

Celebrating New Year’s can be full of emotions, both good and bad.  While some people love the start and opportunities to fulfil their grand plans, others treat it as another day of social embarrassment. Still, regardless of your feelings, and regardless of your plans for the last eve for the year, there are ways that won’t leave you regretting on January 1 – not to mention needing to make resolutions like ‘I won’t repeat what happened last night’

So before you raise you glasses and scare off the last sense in you, here are top 6 quick Do and not to do lessons for you:

Caution: Read only when sober

Lesson 1# – Do get prepared before you step out:  Yes, there will be crowd which might behave rowdy, there will be bouncers to keep a close check and then there will notorious creatures around to have a gala time. Be mentally prepared for this. Do carry a fully charged cell phone with most trusted person on your speed dial, remember your house keys and carry enough cash along with ID cards and credit cards.

Lesson 2# – Don’t Stress yourself with the ‘outfits’:  People, December is a cold month and it is normal to feel cold outside. Don’t seek validation by wearing those outfits without anything warm. You can take it all off once you are inside the party. Also, girls, be careful of what you wear. You don’t want to end up pulling up and down your dresses throughout the night with the discomfort on your face. Also, don’t wear something that is really expensive or important to you.

Lesson 3# – Choose a party or keep choosing a party: one of the worst things you can do to yourself on New Year’s is to play the night by ear. This never works. While most of the clubs/public parties will have high cover charges and long queues, some places would not even like to have surprised guests as well. It is better to research and choose your options. Also, do leave yourself to attending multiple parties without making promises to stick for the entire night. You never know if the bash is going to work or not. Remember to change the venues when you want, just follow the rule of traffic, one does not want to celebrate the midnight hour on the road alone.

Lesson 4# – Dear Social animal, doesn’t need to be an animal: what is the point of yelling at the poor bouncer. Trust, he is just doing his job.  It is probably for a good reason. Be in queue, everyone will ultimately be in. Poor guy is working on this eve too, respect him. Screaming at him will do no good then to having spend the night with the cops. Also, know your limits. The evening is not a competition to see which idiot drink the most and howl like an animal later. You don’t need the first day to be treated as the recap of what you did last evening.

Lesson 5# – Enjoy the party with some sense: This is not the time to keep that malice inside you. Just forget everything and enjoy the party. Drink water throughout the evening to keep you hydrated. It is better not to vomit or feel nauseated after a glass or two down. Also, don’t get all sentimental and do drunk dialling your exes, friends and family. You will get countless opportunities in New Year to make mistakes, don’t start this soon.

Lesson 6# – Be Rational and nice to yourself: What we all like the most – making  New year’s resolution, should be the rational one. Instead of jotting down what not do in the coming year, make pointers of things you would like to accomplish in the next one year. It could start like ‘I will try skying diving and conquering my fear of height’ etc.

Like it is famously said, if you cry the first day- you cry the whole year, so be little cautious and spend the eve nicely without morning regrets the next day. And the eve is equally important to others, so don’t be obnoxious!

Wish you a healthy and fun-filled New Year’s, let the cupid shower love on you J

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It is wedding season at the door. Yes, while we are ready to hog on unlimited sweets, dance to the tune of all the Yo-Yo’s and get fashion crazy for the friends’ weddings we would attend, there is one area which takes most of our energy when marriages are announced – Hen’s party!

We are sure, while most of you are already on your toes, booking the hotel and the bars for the perfect hangout; others are still going mad over the entire preparations.

As rightly said, plans are perfect till the time they are executed, we at Ranchi Lifestyle thought to bring out few Do’s and Don’ts to ensure a fabulous and flawless Hen’s party –

  • Build a team: first and foremost, don’t decide on doing it all alone. Ask other bridesmaids to be part of the planning too. This way, activities can be distributed and focused upon. Try to ask specific questions to the Bride-to-be about what she want and what all did she have in mind for the day.
  • Set a Budget and pool in– It is your friend’s wedding, agreed, you are over-excited for her new life, agreed but don’t break the bank for it. Set a budget before planning the event and ask others to pool in. This way, you don’t end up shooting your finances, while others indulge themselves in fun.
  • Be careful with the surprises: It is equally important to be wary of the implications your surprise can bring. We all want to surprise our friends with the meticulous planning we did, but let not scare her with the over-done surprises. In such cases, try for surprises only if you know the bride too close – like a soul sister.
  • Try for theme party or theme invitation – everyone loves being invited and what is the best way to invite them in style. Try keeping a theme for the cards and getting it rolling within time.
  • Do buy fun party favors to make it an unforgettable Hen’s party, though as a friend you know her taste better, so if you think passing penis necklace would make her laugh, go ahead. Choose according to her taste and remember – not to embarrass her and make her feel uncomfortable.
  • Make it personal and not just another hangout – Show the bride how special she is to you with personal and thoughtful touches like dancing on her favorite songs, doing activities she like, messages for her on the cupcakes for the party etc.
  • Consider buying some kinds of props: Bride would be able to enjoy the center of attraction only for one night other than on her wedding day, so give her prop to let the hen stand out from the rest. Raid a fancy shop for funny wigs, angel wings or princess crowns. You can also try with options like veils and sashes.
  • Avoid walk on heels to shame – while it is sure going to be a messy hen’s party, encourage your bride-to-be to prefer flats or flip flops over her favorite heels. You surely don’t want to decorate her with blisters and plasters for her wedding.
  • Include games and quizzes to make it interesting – You can try famous games like “I’d never -” and “truth or dare” to add spice to the event. Also quiz on how better the bride know her would-be can be a good fun.
  • Don’t let your bride escape– everything perfect can change if your bride ends up with some other man in the party. This is your responsibility to ensure a good time for her and keep her away from sloshing over the unknown shoulders at the bar.
  • Don’t forget to Gift your hen – Everyone loves gifts –definitely she as well, why not to make it special by gifting her the most appropriate items for her wedding. While market is flooded with exotic gifting options, we recommend you to try the naughty ones like a two-piece for her honey moon, may be a kit with safety tools or a book for her reference.