Archive for the ‘Social Issues’ Category

 

princessI had seen her calm, ALWAYS…

She stood straight out of bed, looking torn out. The room looked dark, with dried twigs and cramped feathers here and there. It has been quite a while since she last cleaned her room.

I remember meeting her one day. Calm, serene and elegantly seated, she looked like a princess. The emerald around her neck had caught my attention. Her skin glowed under the sun, showing her untouched beauty. God! she was beautiful. The beauty was incomparable.

She looked out of the window; the day was dull for her. She unwillingly walked towards the other room to get ready for the day, carelessly cleaning the floor with her torn out gown.

One day, I had told her that I am hungry. I had no money to buy food for myself. She had brought me the grandest meal of my life. I owe her. She had made me sleep on her lap, caressing my hair with her finger.

In fact, she had even gifted me clothes. The best of clothes, I knew. Soft, colorful and beautiful, those clothes were the best. She never had asked me to return favors.

She passed the mirror which was once her pride. The mirror showed her the outer world. She did not care to look at it. She knew, nothing was left to see.

Once, I had asked her about that mirror. She had taken me in front of it. I could see millions of people, rejoicing, celebrating and dancing. I had asked the reason. She had smiled and told me, they all are my people’. It was magical for me. She was care taker of millions like me. I don’t know, I think, I had started loving her more, possibly, respecting her more.

She sat on the broken chair. It seemed that her legs pained. With the blood stains on her face, she looked older.

There was a day when one among her people had thrown a stone at her. It had hit her right on the face. There was blood drops on the road, as she had walked towards her castle.

Some had criticized the act, but rest had related it with their right to the throne.

I remember her crying, but she loved her people. She never retorted.

She could hear the cry outside. She could hear people screaming for help. She could hear small kids looking for their lost parents. She could hear it all. But it did not matter to her any more.

She closed her eyes to let the last drop of tear fall.

I had seen her shattered that day. She was sitting on the rock, looking at the nothingness. I tried talking to her, but she had ignored me. It looked like her dignity had been targeted this time. It looked like she had lost the love she had. It looked like she was ready for the revenge.

She gathered herself together to have her next sleep. It was not the time, still she felt like taking a nap. She seemed tired.

It had been a long day for her. She had ordered for a mass slaughtering. It was hard for her to give such orders, but she knew, it was imperative to maintain the harmony.

She could not stand the ‘exploitation’ she had gone through over these years any longer, her people tearing her clothes publicly, humiliating her and often hurting her physically. It required taking an action.

She had initially tried to warn people with small punishments, but they did not stop.

I wanted to apologize to her, for the act we humans have done to her. But she did not hear yet again. I wanted to make her feel, that I understand. But I know, even my lifestyle has been a reason for her remorse.

She slept on the hardened bed of rocks, looking as innocent like a child. She knew, she would need to prepare herself to extend help next day, to the orphaned kids. She knew, being the mother that she is to them, she would need to feed hundreds of mouths tomorrow again, to whom the destruction had caused loss.  She knew, being the exploited nature that she is, she would still need to shelter them under her arms, who had once thrown stones at her.

I know, dear Mother Earth, you still are the loving princess of our lives.

I know dear Mother Earth; we still owe you day and night.

And I know, dear Mother Earth, these changes in the environment and frequent destructions are the results of what we have sown.

“And, I tried finding the calm and serene Nature yet again; she is alive and is still there… but lives in doom with anger and fear”

 

 

 

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After all the hullabaloo over the ‘rape cases’ and what a ‘not so bad’ girls should do, it is time to tell all the men out here to learn few things (rather basic) to make this society a better place to live for humans.

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  • Girls – Even though you have seen movies and your friends talking about them as a piece of pleasure, the truth is they are ‘NOT’. Yes, they have cleavage like you have balls. Yes, they show their thighs like you show your muscles. Simple, isn’t it?

 

  • They swing their butt, yes, little too much sometimes. But ‘IT IS NOT AN INVITATION’. If they really want to do it, they will speak up. If you still think they are inviting, please clear your confusion before getting into their pants. Re-learn ‘PERMISSION’.

 

  • They are like flowers. Well, off course. They bloom to glory and they spread beauty around. But aren’t you told by your teachers ‘NOT TO PLUCK FLOWERS’?

 

  • You see a ‘girl’, and get excited (thanks to the noodles that you have eaten last night, may be). Then you plan to rape her. Oh sorry, you plan a mistake to rape her. Cool, isn’t it? Well, ‘rape is not a mistake, it is a crime’. And Crime is not justifiable. NEVER.

 

  • Men are stronger (in strength). Yes, many of you are. Use this strength to fight for the nation and the society. Forcing on a ‘softer gender’ (like what you call girls most of the times), is not being strong. It is a symbol of being coward.

 

  • Many of you are not the rapists, agreed. But when you abuse your girlfriends, or sometimes disrespect your wife, trust, you also rape their emotions. You are no less than the ‘one who just had fun’ with the girl on a moving bus. The only difference is ‘scars are not visible in your case’

 

  • A girl should not step out ‘after 7pm’. May be you are sane to tell her that. But if a girl is out after the set time, it does not mean ‘SHE IS OKAY TO BE PLAYED AROUND’. Possibly, she was working hard to support herself like you do every day. Possibly, she enjoys being with friends and hangout under the moon shine like you do. ‘HER GENDER DOES NOT DEFINE HER LIFE RULES’.

 

  • Please stop moral policing. Focus on ‘how you can become right’ rather than focusing on’ how can you teach lessons to people you see around’.

 

  • A RAPED GIRL IS NOT A VICTIM. She is a fighter and a survivor. Rather than feeling ‘sorry’ for her, and ‘discussing about what happened with the poor soul’, STAND AGAINST THE ONE WHO MADE YOUR GENDER ‘ASHAMED’.

 

  • Don’t wait until it happens with your near ones. The pain would be unbearable.

 If you can’t control your horses, better get rid of them. It will be a social service to all of us, we control population, rapes and ‘dirt birth’, all at the same time.

 

 

 

I sometimes feel lucky; I had been a daughter to wonderful parents.  They have stood by me when I had made blunders, they have shown me the beautiful side of the world and they have made me what I am today.

I feel safe, loved and confident. I know what I want and I know I am not alone. I can fight for myself and can help others. I have my own personality and dreams. I am ME.

Not everyone is as lucky, I reckon.

While our society knows what should be a daughter like, they ignore the fact that they need to guide them too.

Trust, raising a daughter is more than ‘giving candies’ and ‘loving’.  And at this present situation where you cannot even trust your own blood; your daughters need extra learning and care.

Here are few things, which I believe, every parent should tell their daughters in their growing up stages:

  • We are always there for you; do not shy away with your secrets: First and foremost, trust your girl and give her time to trust you. Remember, she would not share her concerns/worries if you are not ready to believe her already. After all, all she wants is to have her parents around, in good or bad.
  • You are not a thing, to be touched and felt anytime: You need to tell her, teach her, what a bad touch is and a good touch. Ask her to come to you whenever she is in pain. Do not order her these things, but discuss. Do not feel shy discussing things with her. It is important and useful for her. They need right guidance for the time when you are not around.
  • Confidence is your beauty: Many Parents appreciate their daughters on her beauty when they dress up nicely. This can harm their confidence in longer run. Educate them, beauty is not about looking good and wearing nice outfits, it is more about showcasing yourself as a confident individual. Face beauty may fade away with time, but confidence in you will always keep you shined.
  • Be yourself, decide for your life: Trust them, give them chances to experiment and tell them to decide on their own. Nothing beats learning through experiences. But yes, that does not mean you leave them alone. Do supervise what they are doing. Point them if you don’t agree, listen to their views and then decide together.
  • Keep emotions at bay when not needed: it is common for people to say, that girls are emotional fools. Well, there is nothing to be ashamed of your emotions. But one need to tell daughters that emotions are not meant to be wasted. Communicate, that emotions are not bad but need to be used wisely. Cite instances, talk and share your own instances with her.
  • Saying “NO” is not bad: this is the most important thing every girl needs to learn. Saying No is always better than doing something one is not comfortable in. If she lose her friends, let it be, if saying no makes her look stupid, let it be and if saying No keeps her away , let it be. She needs to learn that either she could be one among the herd and get slaughter at the end, or be a tiger to walk alone with pride.
  • You are more important than society: yes, we all are social animals. But don’t forget we have made this society. Instead of telling your daughter to do things due to societal norms, have confidence and open up with her. Her life is more important to you than people whom you don’t even know.
  • Being a girl is not bad: While your daughter might get exposed to ill effects of society, you need to build her confidence in her own gender. There might be 100 rapes happening around, one girl every day is being assaulted, or may be every second girl has her story of eve teasing, still being a girl is not your fault and it is not bad. Narrate her beauty of being a girl and tell her how she is important part of the eco system.

Dear Fathers, she is also watching how you are treating her mother; be an example of a Man your daughter would respect.

  • Be independent: you might think that this has nothing to do with your daughter’s safety or her life, yet I bet it is important. Feed her with the lesson, every girl needs to be independent. She might choose not to work, but she always should possess skills and confidence to feed herself and her kids when in need rather than doing things she would not want to do.
  • Your home is your rescue: No matter if she fails hundred times, she should have belief that her home is the safest place where she can come back. She would not be criticized for her failures, she would be appreciated for her little achievements and she would be protected from harms. It is every parent’s duty to make their daughter feel this way.

These are small things to be taken care of. And you cannot imagine yourself sitting one day and telling her all. Every day needs to be invested in her.

Daughters are very sensitive, they need to be loved and lived. That’s all!!!

 

I always thought of making my world a fairy land, with little white fairies around – like they show in cartoon channels, always ready to solve your problems and give you that smile for the day. I wanted to be happy always.

Though life is not what you dream of. I grew up to learn, inspite of working so hard to achieve the ultimate goal of happiness and satisfaction, we lose ourselves in sub-important stuffs like position, power, society etc. We become rich, intelligent and all- but we still don’t become happy.

Aren’t we all meant to live happily and enjoy the rare experience bestowed on us by our dear Lord?

Well, I think we all know the answers ourselves yet tend to ignore every time.

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So with all the odds, I decided to pursue my dream – to make the place around me a happy place. I started following small initiatives to spread happiness, and trust – they are wonder gems.

I realized, one does not actually need anything to spread happiness- it is completely free and hurdle less. Not only does it make people around you happy, but it also touches your heart and takes you towards happiness and contentment.

So, here I am sharing my simple 5 step guide to spread happiness around:

  • Be kind towards yourselves – remember, charity begins at home – you cannot give something which you don’t have. Indulge in things you love, eat without watching weight, pamper yourself with those expensive things you thought you will buy someday, gift yourself on occasions, travel, read- do whatever you think is right for you, not what others think is right thing for you to do.

 

  • Be polite and wear the most important accessory – SMILE – this is the best method that can make your day and of others. Don’t wait for reasons to smile, just do it. Think of good things in your life, recall that rowdy moments with your friends, smile on the stupidity you did once– JUST SMILE AND BE NICE TO ANY ONE YOU MEET – and see what happens.

 

  • Shower compliments, surprise and be a HERO – Don’t save your feelings for later, shower them genuinely. If you think the girl in red dress looks pretty, go and tell her. If you think the boss whom you never liked took your side today, show your gratitude. It is always better than gossiping. Surprise someone with a small gift, may be a rose or chocolate, or hug and kind words. Be a hero to someone, help a complete stranger in lifting those heavy bags or standing with her against wrong, offer your seat, pay someone for his coffee in this cold and you will see how happy you will feel within yourself.

 

  • Make an effort, get addicted to positivity and fun – try to channelize your energy towards positivity, think what best can happen to you. Have hope, believe in good karmas and think well. Show people the funny side of their problems, crack jokes often and drink humour doses. Our thoughts and action are like flower seeds, they spread around. It is our choice whether to spread sadness or happiness.

 

  • Try to be an attentive listener and passionate talker – This sounds easy, yet difficult to master by most. Listen to what people are telling you, show empathy and trust, this can change your whole views and vice versa. Talk like you really want to tell them, don’t just pretend talking. Share your problems, your opinions- what you feel about things, discuss about life and passion. This will make two people happy!

 

These are easy, aren’t they? And there is no more need of time devotion, money spending or commitments. All we have to do is EEEEEEEEE with our two little red lips and make happiness contagious indeed.

 

P.S: tell us your idea of spreading HAPPINESS in the comments 🙂

Have you ever felt an unwanted hand behind while pushed to exit from a metro? Or may be heard those obnoxious comments about your assets? Do you find it demeaning when they stare and laugh at something pointing you? Have you ever felt the fear of becoming yet another victim of rape?

Well, there are many things we go through daily. Many of us have confined ourselves to safety nest in order to avoid such scenarios, often calling male help when alone or not stepping out only during dark. And we all have learnt to live with it.

But – THIS IS NOT IT.  Those not-so-good-attackers work 24*7. Timings are the least concern for them.  They attack even if you are not alone, they attack even if your body doesn’t show and they attack even if it is a public place.

The sad reality is that we live in an increasingly violent society in which the fear of crime is ever-present, especially against women.

I am a woman and I know how it feels when one gets those dirt-ridden-maniac stares or those ill-intensions prevailing around. It is disgusting.

Concerned about this fact, I have compiled 5 basic preventive rules for all the WOMENIYAS to be used when in trouble:

  1. He stares and you stare him more: A common psychology of any attacker -They are on a look-out for under-confident mild girls, who would not raise their voices when in trouble and would not be a strong fight-back spirit. They are easy victims. When somebody stares at you, give him the dirtiest look back at him. If he follows, question him back when people are around. ‘Han bhaiya, kya hai?’ is a good way to start. Walk with confidence with head straight, trust- he will get a signal that you are not the one.
  2. Don’t wear Earphones: Many of us like listening to music on high volumes when travelling. We believe it is a good time pass. It is indeed a pleasant time pass. However, you tend to lose the most effective tool of yours, YOUR EARS. They are an important piece of sensing danger. They are the first one to tell you – BE AWARE.
  3. Shouting HELP is a bad option: Our society is nosy instead of cooperative. They tend to avoid when you shout HELP, thinking ‘kyu jhamela me pdna (why to get into trouble)’ or better behave our ears have gone deaf. But screaming FIRE! FIRE! will work in your favour. They will come running out of curiosity. Also, I hope that attacker bhaiya gets confused thinking, is this woman mad? This is a small trick to play with human psychology. We are good inquisitive fellows but pathetic helpers.
  4. Carrying safety tools: That pepper spray or whistle to use is a good way to attract attention of passer-by when you are stuck with him. But, use it efficiently. You tend to lose time, searching anxiously for it in your handbag and alerting him about your next step. It is advisable to use such techniques only when the distance between you and him is considerable and the things are placed handy.
  5. Always be prepared to run: Trust, he is not giving you time to think or act. Be prepared of the worst. Carrying a pair of sports shoes when returning from work or passing by not so familiar areas is good for safety. It might sound out-of-the-comfort-area thing, but there is nothing more vulnerable than having to run from an attacker in high heels. Or get rid of your heels first thing when planning to run (Don’t cry over them, you can buy more heels later if you are safe).

 

These 5 techniques are useful in any situation to start with. Every girl should be aware of what is happening around her. Being sympathetic like most of us become, is not a cool thing to do.

And last – Trust yourself. You are your best help.

Be safe, be you 🙂

 

 

When it comes to donations, many of us perceive it ‘hard-on-the-pocket’ thing- screwing our budgets and expenses in the world of inflation. Thus, even if we want to ‘contribute’ towards a cause – the complex about the amount is a worry especially when we are not giants to shell out ‘big bucks’ and see an impact. And, we find it safe to settle down and at peace by ‘not donating’ often.

Well, that’s not the solution, we should remember that no amount is less and any amount does create some footprints.

Like Mother Teresa had rightly said, it’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving!

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Here are 5 hurdle-less donations every one of us can do without torturing our budgets:

  1. Little drops of water make the mighty ocean: We can always keep some amount aside daily in a piggy bank for charity. This makes it easier to donate MONEY for a cause. I had started with Rs 5 initially-not a considerate amount to affect my finances. At the end of the month I used to have Rs 150 –good enough to feed people with evening tea in winters. Sometimes, with 4 months of collection – I could also offer one-time meal for the hungry lives near my area.

You think it’s not big enough? Check again, maybe it was the only meal they needed to bag their next breath! 

  1. Time impacts more than money: We usually correlate donations with ‘offering money’ though the heart of donation lies in ‘its services’. You don’t always need to ‘pay’ to bring happiness. Spending time with the less privileged souls can also bring smiles in their lives. Visit some NGOs occasionally and donate TIME whenever you have, you will observe the change in audience and in you!

You think you don’t have time off work, try to miss out those friendly-get-togethers once in a while-may be all they lack is just a FAMILY and not money! 

  1. Share and Spread: We know that many NGOs and societies are working towards the development of the society and do have their online presence. We might not get a chance to be part of it, but we surely can spread their messages/posts to reach the maximum audience. Donate INFORMATION. If there is any post that requires help, do click the share button- it is for free and does not require even a second of yours!

You think it is useless? Well, your friend’s friend could have helped if he knew-may be all they require is the right audience to know! 

  1. Treat them as equals:  We have seen, many people lack admiration of their work throughout the life-primarily because the better halves of the society think ‘it wasn’t great enough’ or ‘they don’t need it’. Everyone needs it- the appreciation to get going. Donate RESPECT. Be it the carpenter who worked for you or the driver who drove you far, acknowledge what they are doing for you.

You think this will make them snobbish? Correct your facts; may be all they need is the ‘motivation’ to do bigger and better 

  1. Live forever: You don’t need to sip in ‘AMRIT’ to be immortal. All you have to do is to Donate YOURSELF. When alive, go for blood donations over weekend – and don’t worry, you get it regenerated within 4-6weeks. Enlist yourself for eye donation/organ donation etc and be a help when you are gone. Trust, you will live in the memories forever!

You think this is not worth it? May be those old couple had lost their only son due to lack of blood –sometimes, all they need is ‘you’ to survive

 

These kinds of donations will not only help all under-developed segments of the society, but will also help in driving the forces from CHARITY to PHILANTHROPY.

Charity is just writing cheques and not being engaged. Philanthropy, to me, is being engaged, not only with your resources but getting people and yourself really involved and doing things that haven’t been done before –Eli Broad

Yes, you hear it right. They are easy and cheap too. So you don’t waste your precious time which otherwise you could have invested in some ‘boozy hangouts’ or those rupees which you have earned the hard ways by almost killing your opponent during appraisals or your all time ‘cool dude’ image which may get spoiled during the process. (Okay, I am not criticizing it – I am also a part of you)

Sometimes, even though we feel strongly for a cause or do not appreciate the ‘anti-social’ activities, the fear of the unknown stops us from acting. (It’s quite human, not everyone is willing to break the wall)

Trust me; we all don’t need to be ‘Jhansi ki rani’ to fight the battle. Smaller steps are enough to make a bigger impact. Everyone knows and understands the good values, but it is only the best people who go better to do good to uplift the human values

This summers, let’s do something which we all can do EASILY, NON-EXPENSIVELY and WILLINGLY

  1. Water water everywhere, but nowhere to drink: Oh, come on! let’s kill this phrase. Many animals/birds, even humans for that matter, die in this scorching heat due to lack of water. What we can do is to put a container, preferably earthen bowl or pot, filled with water in the vicinity for them and re-fill it whenever required. It is not a difficult task to do, you can even tell your family members to help you out.

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  1. Make them eat and not beg: Next time, when you see those bare footed girls carrying small babies and asking for alms- PLEASE DONT AVOID. Share your lunch with them or that extra fruit you thought you will eat during the break. Word of caution – never ever give them money. If you don’t have any eatable and are not in hurry, treat them in the nearby stall. I am sure; Rs10-20 spent on them is not a burden!

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  1. Sharing is caring: When we were told this thing back in school, we never had imagined its benefits. Sharing indeed is important. The pen you don’t like anymore or the dress which no more fits your size, the wallet you think is out of fashion and the school bag which hides in the store-room corner- Collect and distribute them who needs it. If you don’t have time to do it, there are many NGO’s (like Goonj- quite genuine one) who can do it for you. Some NGOs also facilitate collecting it from your home!

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  1. Educate on the move: In our daily work, we do meet lot of people who are not educated about our environment and society. Be it our peon who served us coffee in the morning, or the auto walla you hired yesterday or may be your own friend who thinks ignorance is always a bliss – Educate them (Hey, I don’t mean GYAN) you can always tell them about the smaller steps!

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  1. Spread positivity: This is the least you can do. What is the harm if you can tell an under-confident girl that she is beautiful and tell the guy on the wheel chair that he will walk soon, what you will lose if you can show warmth for your maid who has been beaten badly last night or empathize with the nude man sitting on the roadside. NOTHING. You will not descend in your material possessions. Even your Hello dipped in love can infuse new rays of hope in them and it is all they need sometimes to fight out their problems.

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These are few things that I make sure to follow as much as I can. I don’t do much myself, but these small things are enough to make me realize the importance of ‘destitution’. Even though these things have not impacted my account balance, I believe I have grown rich within. When they say thank you or smile back at me, I feel rewarded. And my soul, she is indeed very happy about something 🙂

P.S: If you know any other easier ways to implement, do mention it in the comment!