Understood- Like always!

Posted: May 25, 2015 in Fiction
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

“I ran and ran, ran so fast…but the life I want, and the one I craft… gives me no happiness, as I still starve…Oh the sinful love, oh the sinful need”

loveHe slipped from his bed carefully, trying not to disturb his pretty wife.

Wife looked magical, with just the right amount of moonlight falling on her mane and face.

“It had been 3 days since they had checked in the hotel right next to the river front. His wife had opted for the place to have a romantic stay after 5 years of their wedding. All these years, they both had been crazily working to support themselves and their dreams – own house, car, stature and friends.

Now, their bank balance was as strong as they had ever imagined.”


He moved towards the window. He knew that something had waked him up. But he did not know what.

He turned back to see his wife again; tossing her sides, she looked like a baby. How can one be so beautiful and serene? He thought within himself.

“Initial few days of marriage had not been easy. Being an arrange set up, he had been skeptical about his would be partner. His dreams, his priorities and his work, he thought he would need to change them all.

But she was different. She had understood him well, giving him his own space and life. And things had been like always – without change.

He looked through the window – stretched wide, river seemed endless. Moonlight over the surface had made the river look picturesque. He could see trees, aiming high to touch the sky, just like him. He smiled. Possibly, the night had something important for him.

“It was the first time when they had planned a holiday for themselves, post the ‘compulsorily’ honeymoon package. Wife had spent (nearly wasted) a week in getting the perfect look for the outing- shoes, clothes and makeup. She had even placed her first kiss on his cheek, publicly in excitement. 

They both had traveled by road, towards east, away from the usual commercialized 5 star set-ups. A small hotel near the village had attracted his wife’s fancy, facing the mighty Ganges.”

He sat at the corner of the bed, near her feet. It seemed that each part of her body had been meticulously carved out by the lord himself. Feet accessorized with toe-ring and silver anklet looked perfect.

He wanted to keep looking at her, from a distance without disturbing her sleep. Though, part of him desperately wanted to touch the pearl body and enjoy the warmth together.

He stood to take a stroll to let the feeling fade.

He went near the window again. The river and the trees looked same. Nothing had changed in these few minutes, he thought, like his unchanged life in these 5 years.

Yes, nothing had actually changed.

He still did not know what his wife wanted. He still was clueless, what his wife loved. He still was new, to the marital pleasures.

The truth was harsh.

He became uneasy. He had spent 5 years with a beautiful girl, untouched.

The fact that he wanted to focus on his career and self had actually stolen some ‘addictive’ pleasure of life. He regretted being so naive to let it go.

Part of him started becoming angry.

It looked, with every passing second; his self retrospection was clearly dividing him into two.

One part was angry. Angry at everyone – his wife-who was smart enough to understand his wish to succeed, his family-who forced him into the marriage and self-who ignored the beautiful sculpture in his life. The other part was just sleepy, adding ‘really nothing’ to his emotions.

His wife had always been workaholic like him. He had noticed her dedication and commitment. She often have had ‘sleepless’ nights during her submissions. He had always appreciated and respected her for this. She was an independent individual with her own life.

And he was only a part of it. He had liked this fact – ‘not to be the world to his wife’

At the third night after their wedding, he had puked his mind – his want to become ‘big’, his dream to earn ‘a lot’ and his need to be ‘single’. His wife had just stared at him for few minutes before she confirmed-‘Understood’.

Post that, they had been singles, literally singles. Living under the same room, they were only good friends.

He knew that he had not been fair to her. He knew that he had not been fair to himself. And he knew that the ‘thinking’ was making him sick.

Wife had once told him, how much she loved the idea of love. He had then laughed off and excused himself for work.

He assumed, perhaps, the night was an indication for him to know his loss. He assumed, perhaps, the night was a mirror for him to know his needs. And he assumed, perhaps, the night was nothing but a knock of truth.

His assumptions made him confident. His assumptions made him lighter. And his assumptions made him happier.

It was morning already.

Rays had started filling the room, making it warmer inside. He looked at his wife. He knew, It was time for her to embrace the day and him.

 “Is it a need or my love, I don’t know… I crave for her and her untouched glow

It is time to have a broken fast, for she is only one now I want at last”


EPILOGUE: “That day when I got up, I saw him sitting on his knees. He had a strange look in his eyes. I think I knew that look. I think I have seen it before, when he had offered me a lift to my office. I have seen that look when he had taken me to a doctor and have fought at the reception. I know I have seen that look when he had criticized me shopping for days for that trip.

And I said before he could speak – ‘Understood, like always’ “

  1. ashok jain says:

    you perplex always startle shock and all need time to reread and digest.

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